I've been on the good Earth for 23+ years now, but only over the last few years have I really grown up. Before then, as all teenagers do, I acted like I knew how the world worked, but I was clueless. Had I known then what I know now...
- I would have told the parents that it was me who colored on the wall.
- I would tell everyone I meet a different story about what happened to my face/eye.
- When mother was yelling at us for not doing anything while she was gone, I would have felt bad because she is right, rather than fear because of her wrath.
- I would not have ordered the milkshake after I just finished the Merlinator, a large fry, and a large drink (Merlin's is in Garden City, Utah. Check it out. Great burger.).
- I would not have ordered so many dadgum cd's from Tower Records.
- I would have done something different during the student body election debate, although I'm not sure what.
- I would have quit playing basketball for the school team during sophomore year. In addition to me being happy, the team would have been better.
- I would have put Diddy Kong Racing and the N64 in a safe place so that I could continue to play it forever.
- As the officer was writing the bogus citations I would have grabbed the Mt. Dew bottle and thrown it even deeper.
- I would not have slapped Truffles The Dalmatian as I raced by on roller blades. My hindquarters would have appreciated that.